








Sherlock Holmes of House Vernius. The name was worthless here in Sietch Tabr on Arrakis. His training in the weirding way and observation skills was still useful amongst the Fremen, but Mycroft’s superior Truthsaying was less so. His older brother’s abilities were prevalent in the political forest, not the desert wasteland of Dune.
Still, the planet was not without it’s upsides. The Freman accepted (albeit grudgingly) the two exiled brothers after the Naib’s son insisted. Sherlock thought Jhon had the bluest eyes he had ever seen - even after he met the rest of the Fremen in the sietch. Jhon found them after their week long journey to no-where in the middle of the desert. He brought them to his home and let them use one of his many rings to get water. Sherlock didn’t think water could taste so sweet.
Sherlock learnt that the water rings were the currency of the Fremen, and Jhon was considered ‘rich’. They called him El-Sayal, or ‘rain of sand’. He was one of the best worm riders in the entire sietch and would often go riding for his own enjoyment, either coming back relaxed and mellow or with a whole new collection of bodies for the deathstill as well as supplies. The rain of sand… that brings moisture.
He crept out late at night to find Jhon holstering his maula pistol before pulling the maker hooks from his Fremkit. Jhon was riding again tonight. Sherlock made a fast decision and rushed out to his friend as quietly as he could.
‘Take me with you,’ he demanded once he reached Jhon.
Jhon turned in surprise. ‘What?’
‘You’re going sandriding. I want to go with you.’
Jhon snorted. ‘You haven’t even taken the sandriding trial, Baz. I’m sorry, but not now.’
Baz. Jhon’s Fremen name for Sherlock. Falcon. Sherlock thought it fit, at least, much better than the whispered Mahdi from others around the sietch when they thought he couldn’t hear them. He hated it. He was no more their prophetic saviour than Mycroft was, and as much as it pained him, he felt Mycroft would be better suited to that role. Yes, they were born on another planet of a Bene Gesserit mother who trained them in the organisation’s ways, but so were many other people. Sherlock personally thought it would be Victor of House Atreides. Jhon told him there was a good chance either of Holmes brothers could be the Fremen Mahdi despite what Sherlock insisted.
Sherlock didn’t let Jhon deter him from his current purpose. ‘You are capable of carrying multiple corpses with you as you ride back to the sietch. Surely you can take one living body outside of it.’
Jhon stilled for a moment, considering Sherlock’s words, before sighing. Sherlock knew he won their argument - again. He prudently kept his triumphant grin off his face as Jhon turned back to face him. The Fremen man pointed a finger in Sherlock’s direction and said seriously, ‘If you really wish to do this, you must follow everything I say. Immediately. Without talking back.’
‘Of course.’ His grin finally broke through when Jhon pulled out a thumper from the kit.
————
When he was atop the sandworm, clutching at Jhon and watching the dawn rise in front of them, Sherlock never felt more alive.
A Study in Phones (Series Two)
For our Series One Study in Phones, click here.
From left to right: TOP ROW1) The Moriarty
HTC Incredible S
Android. 8MP camera. 3G.
GPS. Wi-Fi. Bluetooth.
Note: the HTC Incredible S does not automatically come with a built-in app for breaking into the Bank of England but does come with black cord inner-ear headphones for listening to Rossini’s The Thieving Magpie whilst doing so.2) The Mycroft
Blackberry Torch 9800
5MP camera. 4GB memory. Touch screen.
Concealed slide out QWERTY keyboard.Perfect for those always-on-the-go types. The slide out keyboard is there for emergencies in Mycroft’s case. Why text when you can talk without having to press any of its concealed buttons?
MIDDLE ROW (Click images for larger size)
3) The Sherlock
iPhone 4 (Series One phone: Blackberry Bold 9700)
8GB memory. GPS. Bluetooth. Wi-Fi. Compass.
Retina display. 5MP camera. LED flash/torch.The widescreen retina display on Sherlock’s phone allows him to look in incredible detail at any evidence or photography he is sent and its completely touch screen applications make quick work of any task he is confronted with, sliding on and off screen in much the same way as memories and facts in his mind palace. Sherlock has also upgraded his Series One laptop to an Apple Mac making both his phone and computer Apple products.
4) The John
Nokia N97Read more about John’s phone in our Series One post.
5 & 6) The Irene
Blackberry Pearl 3G and Vertu Constellation Quest
For our full post on Irene’s Vertu click here.Irene uses her petite and compact Pearl 3G when doing light work and dealing with less tricky customers (and also for looking at photographs of consulting detectives in sheets). Her £17,000 Vertu is only to be used in series business - after all, it’s her protection.
BOTTOM ROW
7) The Fletcher: Motorola DEFY, White
8) The Donovan: Nokia C3-00 (Series One phone: Blackberry Curve 8900)
9) The Lestrade: Sony Ericsson Satio, Silver (Series One phone: HP Palm Pre)
oh look, the text is missing from the last gif.
sherlock: “Yes, when I said ‘every possible variant’, I meant ‘every possible variant’. Though, John made me beg three times, but that’s his army training for you.”
It will never cease to amaze me how people don’t see Irene missed the very point of getting Sherlock’s attention, even after she had got it. PRAISE HIM, WOMAN!!! HE’S BEGGING FOR IT!! He is actually TELLING YOU what to do, and you still don’t see it and insist with the sexually agressive woman who just elicited a disdaiful look from the man, the sort of look an unwanted dog gets at a park when he goes sniffing the wrong person.
oh, moffat moffat what am i supposed to do with you.
yeah, i mean, the thing i found most striking about the sherlock/irene interactions in ASiB was how unmoved sherlock was. the first time he stopped being utterly dismissive of her was on the plane. (i think her drugging and cropping him was, to him, no more a victory over him than the golem getting him in a headlock. it was a physical fight and she played dirty, i don’t think that touches sherlock’s core sense of self. which, y’know, makes the whole “the woman who beat you” read to me like irene has no fucking clue how he works.)
anyway. i run a version of ASiB in my head where irene is really frighteningly intelligent about people, and while sherlock’s attempting to deduce her, she’s absolutely ripping through every nuance of every glance between him and john, and she takes a couple of minutes to extract and render and recreate everything about john that makes john so acceptable to sherlock, with the added zest of letting sherlock know that irene wouldn’t just run with him and tell him he was brilliant, she would tell him he was brilliant and then be brilliant with him. sherlock outright tells her “stop boring me” at the beginning of the deduction by the stream scene; but at the end of that scene, she’s the one who’s obviously hooked, not him. gah. it’s so frustrating to me, because i don’t even ship sherlock and irene, but she’s still the only woman who ever stopped him in his tracks, and they’re not showing me any explanation for that beyond her constant, aggressive flaunting of her sexual availability, which he pretty obviously isn’t interested in.
for me, the most telling thing about ASiB is sherlock’s assumption that irene’s physical response to him by the fire is romantic sentiment. i know a lot of people didn’t like the idea that irene was ‘so in love with him’ that she used his name as her passcode - but i don’t see it as that at all. sherlock himself says she was ‘having too much fun’. i think irene used his name as a joke, a mocking challenge - something so simple that the great sherlock holmes couldn’t figure out - his own fucking name. and (i don’t think this is actually what the writers meant, but) i love the idea that sherlock, brilliant, beautiful, innocent, ignorant sherlock really believes that when a woman’s eyes dilate and her skin flushes and her pulse picks up, that means she’s in love with you. the possibility that she might simply be physically attracted to him doesn’t seem to be on his radar.
anyhow. i felt that overall the episode looked absolutely beautiful, but i didn’t feel the script did irene or lara any favors, she was left stringing together scenes that had no continuity of emotion or motivation or even characterization, which was a bit of a let down.
Ended up calling out of work. I’m feeling manageable at the moment, but still a bit sore from cramping. I didn’t want to be standing for 6 hours and suddenly have the severe pain come back tonight… it sucks because today was my second day working, but I’ll have to go in tomorrow anyways so eh.
My doctor finally bumped me up to 100 mg. Woo! Also, today was the first day we mentioned my phobia. How do you go for months seeing a patient, constantly asking them about their anxiety issues, and never ask if they have a phobia?? We talked about my social anxiety a couple of times, but I think my aversion to biological processes in my own body is about 100 times more worrisome.
But whatever.
I’ll be spending the rest of today in my bed. I might take a nice, long, hot shower later as well.
lucy-in-the-soup-with-croutons:
Basically the shortest, yet most accurate, commentary on the differences between ads geared towards men and women I’ve ever seen.
AND YOUR CHILDREN’S CLOTHES ARE FILTHY
god, so accurate.
